


Hit or Misstletoe (I guess it never misses, huh)

by Foxxi_Is_A_Paradox



Category: Food Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Convenient mistletoe is convenient, F/F, Fluff, Gingerbread is a lil shit, Humor, M/M, Mistletoe, but she's the hero the MA needs, each chapter is a different pairing, i am legally not allowed to update this till it's christmas again, i love mistletoe fics, sorry - Freeform, very very very vague references to smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-25 01:24:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17111798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxxi_Is_A_Paradox/pseuds/Foxxi_Is_A_Paradox
Summary: The Master Attendant loves mistletoe. She puts mistletoe everywhere. And inevitably, people get caught under the mistletoe.





	1. PekingLobster

**Author's Note:**

> A (kinda) late Christmas fic

When it comes to Christmas, Master Attendant Elixe doesn’t pull punches. The moment halloween is over, the preparations begin. By the time it’s mid-November, the cafe is already decked in garlands and lights, bright and christmas-y. When November ends, the tree goes up. It’s a big one, and it takes up an entire corner of the cafe.

The Master Attendant makes every one of her food souls make something to put on the tree. By the time they’ve all put something on there, the tree is bright and colourful, drawing in business from all over town as people flock to see it in all its glory. The food souls don’t mind the tradition. In fact, they all rather enjoy it, bringing all kinds of unique ornaments for the tree. There’s a charm from Milt, an origami flower from Black Tea, an elegant feather embedded with gems from Foie Gras, a magic based gingerbread star from Gingerbread even a miniature fork from Spaghetti. It’s a nice tradition. They all like seeing the tree that reminds them of the small family of sorts that they’ve got over here with their master attendant.

A less popular tradition is implemented in the second week of December. That week, the Master Attendant puts up the mistletoe. It would be alright if she put it at just a few places, but she always puts it in almost every doorway, under almost every arch. Plus Gingerbread and Moon Cake switch the locations around every so often for the shits and giggles, so the mistletoe is almost impossible to avoid. 

Gingerbread and Moon Cake like to declare themselves ‘enforces of the mistletoe’, taking it upon themselves to make sure that any unfortunate duo caught under the mistletoe has to honor the tradition and share a kiss under the accursed plant.

This year, the Master Attendant has stepped it up a bit. There’s mistletoe everywhere, on the ceiling, under trees, above the stove and the counter, on the door to the storage closet. Ok, maybe saying that she stepped it up a bit was an understatement. 

It’s only the 12th of December, and the mistletoe has already led to kisses between Foie Gras and Milt (much to Caviar’s chagrin), Toast and Skewer, Jello and Eggette (much to Omurice's chargrin) and Hotdog and Hamburger.

You'd think that most of them would just refuse to do it, but the Master Attendant says its bad luck to not kiss under the mistletoe, and nobody wants bad luck. Plus no one wants to be pestered by Gingerbread and Mooncake for a whole day for avoiding the mistletoe.

The tradition has been in place for so long that most of them have growned accustomed to never walking next to someone in December, and avoiding the damned sprigs of green leaves as much as possible. This year, Yuxiang actually has a map of the restaurant with all the common mistletoe spots marked down, and distributes it to the other food souls.

If even after all their effort to avoid it a pair of food souls do get caught under the mistletoe, the kisses are usually short and a bit awkward, though it may vary depending on the duo. 

But every now and then something happens that makes the mistletoe worth it. Like the year Chocolate and Coffee got caught under it, with that single kiss ending up being the push they needed to finally confess their feelings to each other. It's for moments like that make Master Attendant Elixe keep the tradition alive. 

But perhaps the Master Attendant wasn't happy with last year's results, so she went apeshit with the mistletoe this time in hopes of getting some compensation. 

And she gets that compensation. 

It happens one calm evening, when all the missions had been done and the restaurant was closed, and most of the food souls were lazing about in the large living room of sorts, being careful to avoid the mistletoe manically taped to the ceiling. The Master Attendant is there with them, comfortably flopped on a beanbag, chatting with B52 and Brownie. Some souls are reading or talking, and others are napping, exhausted from the day's work.

In comes Peking Duck, book in hand, humming a tune under his breath. He's followed shortly by Boston Lobster, who looks really sleepy. Peking sits one of the couches, and Boston sits next to him. Usually someone would comment on the oddness of tbe fact that Boston Lobster willingly sat near Peking Duck, but a sleepy Boston Lobster is more docile and very very spacey, so no one really pays it any mind.

For a second, it's peaceful in the living room. Then an unholy screech sounds from a cupboard in the corner of the room. 

The door to the cupboard is kicked open with a bang, and Gingerbread and Mooncake step out.

"It's the Enforcers of the Mistletoe," Gingerbread yells, "Here to enforce the mistletoe!"

Mooncake steps forward dramatically. Raising a finger, she points at the couch where Peking Duck and Boston Lobster are.

"Lobster and Duck, you've been mistletoed. You've gotta kiss," she declares theatrically. Sure enough, there's a sprig of mistletoe hangjng haphazardly from the beam above the couch where Boston Lobster and Peking Duck are seated.

Gasps and murmurs run through the room. Peking Duck and Boston Lobster, the bitter enemies, caught under the mistletoe? Looks like mistletoe month just got interesting.

Peking Duck looks up from his book for the first time since the whole fiasco began. He doesn't look like he's heard a word of what Mooncake said. Boston Lobster is staring half asleep at the ceiling, not looking like he'd heard a word either.

"Oi, you two!" Gingerbread yells again. The pair turn to look at her. "Kiss!"

The food souls and Master Attendant look on with bated breath. There's a moment as the duo in question process the request. After a second, Boston Lobster seems to register Gingerbread's words.

The Master Attendant gets ready to break up any possible fights, hoping that there's not too much damage as a result of Boston Lobster's inevitable violent reaction.

But said reaction never comes.

Boston Lobster simply sits up, grabs Peking Duck's face, kisses him like he's done it a hundred times before, then slumps back on the couch again.

Peking Duck doesn't look shaken at all. In fact, his lips twitch upwards in a brief, small smile, before he turns back to his book and goes back to reading as if nothing had happened.

About 12 jaws hit the ground simultaneously. The Master Attendant looks like she can't comprehend what had just happened. For a few seconds there's silence, with everyone staring dumbfoundedly at the supposed enemies peacefully sitting there on the couch like they hadn't just kissed as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

It's common knowledge that Boston Lobster has limited cognitive ability when half asleep, so for him to kiss Peking Duck so casually and naturally, he's either done it before, or has thought of doing it before. Both options are equally scandalous.

The silence is broken by Yuxiang, who lets out a triumphant yell, startling Boston Lobster awake again.

"Pay up, bitch!" she gives Spicy Gluten, who is seated opposite her at the table, a smug smile. "I told you something was going on between them!"

"Dammit, " Spicy Gluten curses under her breath. "I was 100% sure there wasn't anything.." she hands a few gold coins to Yuxiang, who cackles in glee at her win. Turning to Boston Lobster, she scowls.

"Why wouldn't you tell me if you had something with the Duck? Since when?? I was so sure you'd stay oblivious to the sexual tension till I won the bet."

Boston Lobster blinks sleepily at her. He lets out a pensive hum. "Hmm. I like Peking. Peking'sh nice." And with that he goes back to dozing off, this time leaning against Peking Duck, who still hasn't stopped reading.

Shit hits the fan. On one side of the room, the Master Attendant looks like she's about to faint, staring in utter disbelief. Spicy Gluten is screeching at Yuxiang over how Peking must have told her before they made the bet, so the whole thing is unfair. Gingerbread and Mooncake look like they've just won the lottery. Across the room, Chocolate and Coffee exchange knowing smiles.

On the couch, Boston Lobster is fast asleep, head on Peking Duck's shoulder. Peking Duck keeps on reading, an amused smile gracing his face.

People tended to assume they hate each other based on what they'd heard of them in the past, and based on the way they interacted with each other. But he'd always assumed that after so long anyone who was good at spotting subtext would have noticed the lack of venom in their arguments, the touches, the glances, even the marks on his neck on some days. Based on the reaction to the kiss, no one had noticed at all. Peking can't help but be amused.

But in the end, it's Boston Lobster, and he usually acts without thinking of the consequences. In fact, Peking is surprised thar people hadn't picked up on their relationship way earlier. Either way, it doesn't really matter. Sure Boston Lobster is a brash, obnoxious idiot most of the time, and sure they have their differences, but he understands Peking on a level most people can never aspire to and Peking doesn't think he'll ever find anyone else like him.

Despite the serenity of this touching scene between Peking and Boston, the room is still in chaos. Yuxiang and Spicy Gluten are still aruguing loudly. Gingerbread and Mooncake fist bump, triumphantly celebrating yet another mistetoe highlight. Other food souls look around suspiciously at each other, wondering whether there were any other secret relationships that they didn't know about.

The Master Attendant smiles happily, making a mental note to order even more mistletoe for next year. Because even if the food souls find it to be a pain in the ass, there are those priceless moments that make the weeks of suffering 100% worth it.

Gingerbread secretly hopes Steak and Red Wine get caught under the mistletoe some day, maybe it'll do something to help get rid of all that unresolved sexual tension which they both adamantly deny the existence of.


	2. SteakWine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I finally write some spicy steakwine

It's barely 3 days after everyone found out that Peking Duck and Boston Lobster were in a relationship when the mistletoe strikes again.

It's midday, so many of the teams are out running errands. The Master Attendant is out in the training fields with some of her food souls who need to work on their skills.

She's taking them in pairs, focusing on the linked skill. Currently, Foie Gras and Escargot are practicing, tearing at the practice dummies and Fallen Angels the Master Attendant keeps for training purposes, working to improve the bond that powers their linked skill.

Red Wine and Steak have just finished their last round of sparring. It was intense and relentless, like their fights usually are. The Master Attendant seemed extra pleased with their results for the day, so she let them off early.

Steak can feel the thrum of soul power in his veins, still pumping steadily after so much usage of his linked skill with Red Wine. He can still feel traces of the other food soul's soul power mingled in with it.

They're both tired, and they trudge in silence up to the food soul living quarters behind the restaurant. They stop at the same time to get water from the dispenser that the Master Attendant has near the back door. Because even if it does nothing for them health-wise, there's nothing like a glass of water to cool down after a training session.

Red Wine gives Steak a non-commital glance as he waits for his cup to fill with water.

"Looks like you're not all that bad at fighting so long as I'm around to power your link," he taunts.

Steak gives him a glare, not bothering to verbally reply.

Red Wine chuckles, and lifts his cup to drink. Steak watches the movement, and wonders how Red Wine manages to look graceful even when drinking water from a plastic cup. 

He's just about to drink some water himself when a tell-tale screech sounds from one of the nearby cupboards.

Gingerbread falls out of the cupboard rather unceremoniously, a bunch of soul embers rolling after her.

She hurriedly collects herself, clumsily brushing the dust of her dress. There's an expression of extreme triumph on her face as she points a finger in the direction of the duo staring dumbfoundedly at her.

Steak realizes too late what exactly she's pointing at. Above the water dispenser, and subsequently above him and Red Wine, is a lone sprig of mistletoe.

Fuck.

"I've waited for this for so long," Gingerbread mutters, and her smile turns devilish. "Steak and Red Wine, you've been mistletoed."

Red Wine visibly pales, which is quite a feat considering how pale he naturally is. Steak's cheeks are reddening, betraying his flustered reaction to the implication of Gingerbread's words.

"I'm not ki- kissing that bastard!" Steak's voice falters on the word 'kissing'. There's no way, Steak tells himself, resolutely pusshing down the part of him that wonders what it would be like to feel Red Wine's lips on his.

Gingerbread's smile gets smugger.

"Oh but you have to. You know what happens to those who skip the mistletoe."

Steal has really only heard rumors, but apparently it's bad luck, and no one wants bad luck.

"Better hurry," Gingerbread chuckles. "Master Attendant will be back at any moment."

Beside him, Steak hears Red Wine let out a resigned sigh. The purple haired food soul turns to face him, and there's a look in his eye that Steak can't decipher. He looks calm, and it's flustering Steak even further.

'How can you be so calm,' he wants to yell, 'when we're literally about to kiss, full on the lips, voluntarily?'

Truth is that Red Wine is far from calm. His heart is beating so fast it's a marvel no one can hear it, and he really doesn't want to reflect on what the reason for that might be. 

Trying hard not to melt into a sorry puddle of whipped cream, Red Wine leans a bit closer to Steak, whose face is almost as red as his hair at this point.

He can see almost visible panic on Steak's face at the small movement, and it's kinda amusing. The sudden amusement gives him a confidence boost, and he leans in even closer. He falters for a second when their lips are almost touching, but then they're kissing. He pulls back (reluctantly) after a few seconds. A few moments pass in silence. Then Steak moves forward and reconnects their lips and suddenly it's like a dam has burst. Off to the side there's a vague flash, and the sound of someone running off, but neither of them can bring themselves to care about what it might have been. 

Steak's hands find their way to Red Wine's hips like it's second nature, and Red Wine moves his hands to cup Steak's face without a thought. One of them opens their mouth, and the kiss gets deeper and more demanding, tongues intertwining

Somewhere in the back of his mind Red Wine wonders if perhaps they're getting carried away, but then Steak nips at his lip and the thought is lost.

It's a while before they finally part, lips swollen and cheeks flushed. Steak keeps his hands on Red Wine's hips, mostly out of an inability to find somewhere else to put them.

For a second they just look at each other, not entirely sure whay to say or do. Then Red Wine closes the gap and they're kissing again.

The kiss is frenzied and sloppy, years of pent up sexual tension finally coming to a head. Everything else seems to have faded into the distance, and all Steak's focus is on the fact that he's kissing Red Wine, who he supposedly hates, and it's amazing.

The spell is broken by the sound of voices and footsteps heading in their direction. Breaking the kiss, Red Wine glances in the direction of the sounds, then back at Steak. 

The look that Red Wine is giving him sends shivers down Steak's spine. He doesn't resist when Red Wine suddenly pulls away from him, then lightly grips his wrist, hurriedly pulling him in the direction of the food soul bedrooms.

In what feels like no time at all, they're at Red Wine's room, and the purple haired food soul is fumbling with the key. Steak is still a bit dazed, unable to stop staring at Red Wine, wondering why on earth the damn bastard had to be so damn attractive.

Then Red Wine has the door open and in a split second Steak has him pinned against the first wall in the room, the door swinging shut behind them. He doesn't hesitate to capture Red Wine's lips again. Absently, Steak thinks that if this is what kissing Red Wine is like, then he should have done it way earlier. There's a pleasant buzz running through him at the feel of the purple haired food soul's lips on his, and shivers run down his spine as their tongues mingle.

Red Wine's hands have travelled down, and Steak can feel them going lower. He lets go of all rational thought and lets the sensations and feeling of being with Red Wine consume him.

A few hours later, they're lying on Red Wine's now clean bed, both exhausted. Steak can feel himself drifting off towards sleep. Red Wine is curled up next to him, the tall food soul uncharacteristically small in his arms. Red Wine shifts closer, revelling in Steak's warmth.

It's peaceful, cozy and quiet, and neither of them says anything. Neither of them have to say anything. They've always had a mutual understanding of each other, and they both know what this thing between them is.

If he really thinks about it, Red Wine guesses that these feelings have been there for quite a while now, despite neither of them doing anything to address them. Well, at least now he knows that the feeling is mutual, and that's a step forward.

For perhaps the first time since they've met each other, Steak and Red Wine truly indulge themselves, revelling in each others' presence, happy and serene.

Somewhere in the distance, the Master Attendant pins the picture Gingerbread had taken as proof of the kiss to the large board in the living room she calls the achievement wall, and makes a mental note to order even more mistletoe for next year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it folks, the Steakwine chapter, or as I like to call it, 'kiss virgin attempts to write kiss scenes; part 5'


	3. TeaMilk

Milk is rather intrigued by the Master Attendant's love for mistletoe. She's never been caught under it with anyone, since she's rather shy and doesn't usually go around eith any of the other food souls, mostly keeping to herself.

But she can't help but be curious. It's a strange tradition, but it seems like it would be nice to kiss someone under the mistletoe, provided it was a person you actually wanted to kiss, and not someone you just happened to be walking with. Chocolate and Coffee are forever finding mistletoe to use as an excuse to kiss. Milk asked Coffee once what it was like to kiss someone under mistletoe, and he'd responded that it was like kissing someone anywhere else, to be honest.

Still, Milk was curious. She'd never actually kissed anyone before, despite her long life. She'd never really found anyone she wanted to kiss before, either. Coffee says that sharing a kiss with someone you like is an amazing feeling, and Milk really wonders what it's like.

But to say that she's never had feelings for anyone would not be entirely correct. There's Black Tea. And Black Tea never fails to make her heart race when she passes her and gives her one of her rare smiles. If Milk had to kiss someone under the mistletoe, she'd quite like if it was Black Tea.

As if by magic, the food soul in question appears at the doorway to the room where Milk is organizing medical supplies. She's dressed in her usual clothes, her twin pistols in her hands.

Her brow furrows when she sees Milk standing there by the shelves alone, looking lost in thought.

"Milk?"

The quiet food souls startles at the sound of her voice, cheeks reddening as she recalled what she had been thinking about.

Black Tea seems concerned. She steps into the room.

"Are you alright?" She casts a worried glance over Milk, whose cheeks redden further.

"Um. Yes- yes I'm fine." she manages to stutter out.

Blcak Tea still looks concerned, but she doesn't ask any further questions, moving over to the table by the window to find a cloth to clean her guns.

Milk watches her, thoughts wandering back to kisses under the mistletoe.

"Black Tea," she calls out to the other food soul before she can stop herself. Black Tea turns to face her.

"Yes?"

Milk hesitates for a moment. "Have you ever kissed anyone under mistletoe before?" she asks eventually.

Black Tea looks surprised at the question.

"I haven't" she replies after a moment. "What's your reason for inquiring?"

Milk hesitates again. When she speaks, her tone is barely hearable. "I haven't either, and I was curious as to what it's like..." she trails off, embarrassed.

For a moment, Black Tea is silent. Milk wonders if she heard what she'd said. Then Black Tea lets out a light chuckle.

"Well would you like to find out?" she asks, pointing at something above Milk.

Looking up, Milk spots a stray sprig of mistletoe miraculously taped to the ceiling above her chair. Flustered, it takes her a while to formulate a response. She can't find words to say, so she just nods timidly.

Black Tea is smiling lightly as she makes her way over to Milk. 

The pale haired food soul feels her heart tremble as Black Tea gets closer, till she's right in front of her. Her lips are pink and well-moisturized and Milk wonders if they're as soft as they look.

Black Tea stops in front of Milk, bringing up a hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Milk's ear. Then she closes the gap between them. 

The kiss is chaste and gentle. Her lips are as soft as they look, Milk thinks to herself as they part.

Black Tea's expression is uncharacteristically soft as she looks at Milk.

"How was it?" Her tone is lilting, with more emotion than Black Tea usually expresses.

"It was really nice." Milk says, frankly. There's a moment of silence. "Can we do it again?" Milk asks, quietly.

Black Tea smiles and pulls Milk forward to meet her lips again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short but it makes me happy
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the fic! I probably won't be writing any more chaps, because the further we get from christmas, the more out of place a mistletoe fic feels.
> 
> Still, it was fun writing this  
> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Hmu on tumblr if you wanna yell about personified anime food, i'm @itsjustafoodtasy

**Author's Note:**

> Hnnggg gotta love them mistletoe fics  
> Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
